Oh My Stars!

Robyn used to say that all the time during our days at Baylor. Tonight as I was stargazing from my back porch, I was completely blown away.

The Peanut has been very sick with "Rotavirus." She runs a fever and pukes and has the world's stinkiest diapers. Even when there is very little poo, you could smell it from miles and miles away. Still, she's very much the same cheerful peanut at heart, just cuddlier and tired-er. The doctor says it could last anywhere from two to fourteen days. (And of course wouldn't you know that I've arranged for her to be in daycare next Tuesday. Please Lord, let her be better by then! )

We went to the drugstore today to get a remedy and while we were out, she fell asleep in the stroller. I didn't want to wake her to put her in the car seat to drive the 3 miles home, so I just wandered the makeup aisle and then the card aisle. I was particularly looking for something that would meet my needs for my godchild's baptism this weekend. I didn't find anything, but I did find a sympathy card that said, "what if the stars weren't really stars and instead lights from the people that have passed on, there to remind us that they are still with us." Of course, the card was a little more eloquent.

So I'm gazing at the stars tonight thinking of Banky and of that endearing song "Somewhere Out There Beneath the Starry Sky. Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight" sung by a little mouse.

I recently got in touch with Banky's highschool friend, Mika Beth. Banky had always said I shoulda called her long ago. She does amazing photography in Fort Smith, Arkansas. Anyway, I sent her a link to my pictures and she wrote back saying how Rosa Jane resembles Heather -- my Banky. I remembered my dream many months ago of Heather and how excited she was to hold Rosa Jane. How she felt especially close to me.

Banky will always be in my heart. I am more because of her and would have been much much less without her. I hope the lessons I learned from being Banky's friend will be passed onto Rosa Jane and she too will live unabashedly.

The stars are truly amazing tonight. I hope you'll be out there looking at them, too.